Sometimes, what it takes to help an alcoholic means doing things that may seem cruel. People are conditioned to be kind and helpful. So when a family member becomes an alcoholic, we inadvertently aid them in their alcoholism by doing things that actually help them drink. That could be buying their alcohol or it could mean ignoring tantrums when they have no alcohol. Even people who become very weary of the alcoholic loved one’s actions will continue to aid them. This does not help anyone.
Helping an alcoholic may seem to go against a person’s nature but if allowed any leeway at all, the alcoholic will take advantage of it.
In order to help the alcoholic acknowledge their problem, you have to acknowledge it first. Become aware of the signs and symptoms of alcoholism as well as the tricks alcoholics use to get loved ones to help them. Then you must set limits. This is often difficult for people but it must be done. Let the alcoholic know the rules in your home. Let them know they cannot drink at your home and that, for instance, you will not bail them out if they get pulled over for a DUI. Once you have established the limits, you must be very firm about them. Although it may seem contradictory, while setting and enforcing limits, try to remain positive.
Offer to help the alcoholic find treatment. Of course, they will refuse at first but occasionally put the offer out there in a positive way. If life with the alcoholic becomes unbearable, you can always call a rehab center and talk to a professional about what to do. Never accept physical violence from an alcoholic. If they become aggressive, call the police. You would not be betraying them, but helping them. The alcoholic must know that you mean business and you are not going to put up with the alcoholism.
Helping an alcoholic may seem to go against a person’s nature but if allowed any leeway at all, the alcoholic will take advantage of it. There is an expression, “tough love” and it applies to dealing with an alcoholic as well as other situations. You have to be strong and at times, you will have to get tough. Coddling the alcoholic and making excuses for them is not going to help them at all. Helping an alcoholic means being tough sometimes, this may be against your nature. Try whatever it takes to get the alcoholic into treatment. The madness isn’t going to stop until the drinking stops.
Nick Hayes is a graduate of the Narconon drug rehab program in 2005. Nick takes much enjoyment in writing, and feels there needs to be more information about drugs and alcohol provided to the people of the world. He believes nobody should have to go through an addiction.