Hello!! My name is Joe Brown. I am writing this letter from prison. I am currently serving a five-year sentence. I did not land here overnight, and this is the end of a long battle with drugs and alcohol. I started using for the first time at the age of 12. It was at a overnight function among friends, and it started something that has nearly killed me, and hurt the ones around me time and time again. I had no idea a marijuana joint and a few beers could lead to becoming a full-fledged junkie! But, it did. And don’t be mistaken – I am, and was very blessed with a family that loves me and cares for me. I was very active in athletics, school functions, and the community. I had everything going for me – the all American boy. Captain of the baseball team, pretty girlfriend, nice car; I thought I had it all.
Actually, what I had was my hands, and arms full. Instead of dealing with my everyday problems, I was slowly starting
to hide in a bottle and or drugs. I began trying pain pills, LSD, and eventually cocaine. Before I knew it I had a good grasp on drugs, and had lost complete control of everything remotely close to a normal life. I began using pain pills and alcohol everyday by the time I was 18. I would deny any sort of problem to everyone, and my loved ones did the same. They had no idea how to deal with me, and neither did I. Ignoring it seemed logical at the time, but it only fed the beast!
I was offered a number of college scholarships to play baseball, and tried to follow through with them – no luck. I dropped out of two colleges within months, making excuses to everyone, my self included; why it was ok to throw my life away. My family finally decided to address my addiction – it was too late. I was in deep, and was not ready to face the addiction my self. To appease them, or get them off my back, I would enter detox centers, or go to a doctor with a miracle cure for addiction. All that happened was deeper addiction. Treating an addiction with more drugs, only substitutes the problem, and in all honesty gives the user another opportunity to use, and manipulate. Never facing the problem, or problems. Not only was I digging myself into an enormous hole, but also I was pulling in my family and loved ones with me. I was bringing down the whole family.
My family believes in family, and eventually they began tough love, and slowly I started realizing I needed help. I started giving getting clean an honest run, but couldn’t do it on just will power, or by just saying no. Every time I would just slip right back into drugs and alcohol. I needed to address my past head on, and clean my body out completely of years of hard using. I needed tools, but nothing worked. I would do anything to get the money for that next high, including breaking the law. While I was using I felt invincible, and thought nothing could stop me, and I was immune to the law and rules. Boy was I wrong! Everything was about to change for me, and I was finally going to get the footing needed to start this long journey back.
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Nick Hayes is a graduate of the Narconon drug rehab program in 2005. Nick takes much enjoyment in writing, and feels there needs to be more information about drugs and alcohol provided to the people of the world. He believes nobody should have to go through an addiction.