Someone who is a friend and colleague of yours has been acting strangely lately. Normally a punctual individual, she is late to work and social events and, when the option is available, she drinks far more than you remember her ever drinking. She also seems to have stopped looking after herself and she seems almost apathetic about occasions and people you know she normally does not. You suspect it’s possible that she’s developed alcoholic tendencies.
A younger brother has recently gotten into trouble with his school. They say he’s been late to class more and more often over the past month and they have confided in your parents that they think he is involved with drugs. His grades have dropped and he’s never at home for dinner, for which he normally is. He doesn’t hang out with the same group of friends either.
You’re asking yourself, “What do I do about this?”
People are often confused as to how to broach the matter of suspected drug and alcohol abuse with a person they are concerned about. It is normal to be concerned about people in your life, but how do you know that you’re not stepping over the line or that they won’t see it that way?
The bottom line is that you have to do something, as it’s both illogical and unnecessary to put yourself through the stress of pretending that everything is normal. The best mindset with which to approach the situation is one of compassion and understanding. The person you’re concerned about may not think that they have a problem, and indeed they may not, so unless you feel that they are a danger to him/herself and/or society, you don’t have the right to attempt an intervention. It is, however, your right to let them know that
a) you know, ending any need for pretense and that;
b) you’re concerned about their health and you are there for them.
Sometimes people who are caught in a drug or alcohol spiral don’t realize that they’re in one until someone points out their changes in behavior and lifestyle. The best that you can do is let them know that you know and end the emotionally exhausting process of pretending that everything is normal, and make sure that they know they have someone to go to if they feel they need to. This approach can also help to “keep you in the loop,” by ensuring that the individual feels comfortable telling you what is really happening, thus leaving you better informed about their activities and in a position where you can intervene if things go too far.
Drug addicts are often afraid of being judged and found wanting, and by telling them that you know what’s happening and that you don’t mind, you open yourself to them in a caring and non-authoritarian fashion.
Nick Hayes is a graduate of the Narconon drug rehab program in 2005. Nick takes much enjoyment in writing, and feels there needs to be more information about drugs and alcohol provided to the people of the world. He believes nobody should have to go through an addiction.